Fur People In Our Life

For those of you who are owned by cats (they really prefer to be called "fur persons") Fr. Frog would like to introduce the feline denizens of his swamp. Each one has a distinctive personality, and each brings a special love and joy to our life. Our cats are all computer literate (they really know what a mouse is for) and will respond to email messages directed to Fr. Frog by clicking here. (They don't have their own computer--yet.) 


A Short Rant

Nothing upsets me more than people who have pets and then are to busy or too lazy to care for them properly.  (Actually the same rant applies to having children too.)  If you cannot make the commitment of time and love, don't have pets (or children).  They deserve better.


In Memoriam

Pepper (10k jpg)Pepper (Pepsicat) c 1990 - 2008

Pepper was an almost 18 year-old, 12 pound fixed "Black Tortie" female. She wandered in to our life and house when we lived in New Jersey and never left. She had obviously been mistreated and did not like to be held for any period of time. She was very afraid of plastic bags and would hide whenever she heard a bag rustled. She was otherwise a very happy and playful cat whose claim to fame was that she not only purred very loudly--you could hear her plainly across the room or down the hall--but she also purred backwards (on the exhale) with her mouth open, and she purr almost constantly when around us. She had a gorgeous shiny and silky, mink like, multicolored coat and enjoyed being brushed, especially the sides of her face) for as long as you could do it.  (I sometimes wondered if she was going to brush her face right off as she pressed very hard against the brush.)  She loved to eat shreds of Cheddar or Jack cheese. She also liked to collect "sparklies" (small shiny objects such as screws, thumb tacks, earrings, and such) which she hids in piles around the house. She and Smuggy liked to chase each other around the house. Pepper loved the "laser pointer" and went absolutely crazy chasing its red light spot around the floor. She was also very fond of both Spice and Butter  She'd curl up with Butter and would wash him every chance she got. After being with us for 17 years she leaves a big empty quiet spot in our lives.

butter (9k jpg)Butterscotch (Budbuds) c 1994 - 2001

Butter was a 6+ year-old muted orange, 13 pound tabby who wandered into our yard and perched himself on our window sill one cold and rainy day until we brought him into our home and our lives. He was an extremely affectionate cat who wanted to be right next to you whenever he was around and he became Frogette's constant companion. His constant following her around earned him the nickname of "puppycat."  He had an odd habit of rocking back and forth while sitting in a manner similar to those praying before the Wailing Wall in Jerusalem. Like Pepper, he had a defective purr motor. He didn't actually purr, but made squeaking sounds. He was the gentlest of all the cats we have been privileged to share our lives with and he never bit scratched, or hissed at anyone.  He taught us a lot about love and the presence of angels in our lives, and brought us much joy and comfort in both happy and sad times.  His passing has left a very large hole in our lives and we still think about him and miss him greatly seven years after his death.  You have done us honor by being part of our lives--rest in peace thou good and faithful companion.  In his memory I wrote a short homily which I gave at my parish's St. Francis Day observance in 2002, and which may bring you some comfort if you have recently lost a pet.  Click here to read it.

 

Dog (12k jpg)Dog The Magnificent (Doggers) c. 1980 - 1999

Dog? What a name for a cat! Dog was the 19-year-old(!) cat who lived in the Free State of Florida along with his loyal subjects Ghost and Rizza who doted on him. He was an extremely friendly and gregarious orange and white male tabby who was an very active talker. He liked to carry on conversations with humans!  If a human did not respond to his attempts to engage in conversation Dog would get their attention by vigorously pawing at them. He also had a habit checking to see if you know he was there when he slept with you at night. Several times a night he would come up and gently pat you on your nose with his paw until you acknowledge his royal presence. Dog's secret goal in life was to invite Ricky the parrot to be the guest of honor at lunch since Ricky tormented him by calling, "Here, kitty kitty." (Surprisingly they ignored each other when Ricky walked around on the floor.) He is greatly missed by all his friends.

 

Spice (7k jpg)Spice (Spibee or Thunder Tums) c. 1987 - 1999

Spice was a 12-year-old orange long-hair male Tabby (probably Maine Coon in his lineage)  with half a tail. When we found him his tail had been injured and it had to be bobbed to about half its normal length. He apparently thought that he could regrow his tail by consuming vast quantities of food and at almost 23 pounds he was arguably the king of the hill. He was a great talker and he liked to lie on his back with his feet in the air, no doubt to ease the back strain of carrying all that weight. He also enjoyed being vacuumed and would throw himself in front of the vacuum cleaner to get his fur fluffed up. He also enjoyed sitting in his cage in the back yard on nice days while we worked outside. He loved to sit on Fr. Frog's lap purring contently and watch TV with him at nights. He was a good, gentle, and faithful companion and he is greatly missed by all who knew him.

 

snicker (9k jpg)Snickerdoodle (Snicker) c.1986 - 1996

Snickerdoodle was Fr. Frog and Frogette's first cat. He was an affectionate male English tabby with a deep orange coat who loved to lie in the sun or on the chest of anyone lying on their backs. He also loved to have his nose rubbed, and also the occasional hit on the catnip bag. As with all of our cats he was an indoor-only cat whose goal in life, unfortunately, was to escape to the outside world and run about, eating all the grass he could. To further this end, he developed incredible skill in sneaking out and was capable of outsmarting the most careful and attentive person. Unfortunately, Snicker snuck out once too often and was killed by a car at the age of 10. Snicker, we miss ya! Rest in peace, good buddy.

 

Zeke (9k jpg)Zeke (Zeeker) c.1980 -1995

Zeke was our friend Paul's cat. He was a 15 year old gray tabby with white boots who was Paul's constant companion and who use to supervise Paul's woodworking activities in his shop. He was very friendly and one of his favorite activities was to play "hide the kitty" where he would delight in hiding under a throw rug while we tried to "find" him. He is greatly missed.

 


The Current Fur People

schmitty2.jpg (4757 bytes) Schmitty (Schmitmeister)

Schmitty is a 16-year-old, 15 pound gray and white male. He was found as a newborn kitten by our son, who found a box containing three kittens abandoned in the woods near our home. He found homes for two of them and brought Schmitty to live with us. Schmitty is an overly affectionate but skitterish cat who loves to sleep RIGHT NEXT to you (especially when there is a sun puddle around) or on your lap if you sit in his favorite chair and he enjoys sitting in the window watching the birds. He is absolutely crazy about McDonald's French fries and will rip open a bag to get to them. He also likes ice cream of any flavor. His favorite games are to jump on the sheets when you make the bed and attack the evil "mattress monster," and  to attack the bubbles in our water cooler. He also likes to take his "strawberry" catnip stuffed toy on trips around the house. When he tires of carrying the strawberry he hides it under a cart in the kitchen. He enjoys having a little bowl of half-and-half in the morning while Fr. Frog enjoys his coffee.  He recently acquired a taste for yougurt of any flavor and he'd eat a whole container if he was allowed to.  He also has a fondness for Ready-Whip aerosol whipped cream. He too, enjoys being brushed and he gets very jealous if you brush one of our other cats.

 

Beth (7k jpg)Beth (Beepers, a.k.a. The Queen Mum)

Beth is a 17+-year-old dark gray, 10 pound gray and white fixed female with a very thick coat. She lived for many years with our daughter in NJ, but she recently "retired" to Fr. Frog's Kitty Casa retirement home for furpeople, here in AZ.. She is a shy and very gentle cat and suffers from dysplasia and arthritis in her hips and is now quite deaf.  When she was little she had a very a squeaky kind of meow--hence her nickname "Beepers." However, in her mature years she has become VERY vocal and loud when she talks.  She is still sorting things out here in her new home and she has taken over our office as her place.  She tolerates Schmitty (who I think she remembers) but was not too happy about Pepper, nor about Smuggy.  Having come from an apartment she enjoys sitting in our windows watching all the birds and other critters, or laying on the floor in a sun puddle as she likes things warm.  She LOVES French fries, popcorn, and a little dish of half & half or whipped cream in the evening, as well as getting brushed.  She recently suffered from what our vet said was a mini-stroke and her back end wobbles when she walks, and she sometimes tracks a bit sideways with her rear end, but it has not slowed her down and she will still chase Smuggy down the hall.

 

Smuggy (10k jpg)Smuggler (Smuggy)

Smuggy is a 14-year-old "energetic" orange (do you see a trend here) 11 pound fixed male who was adopted by our son in 1996 while we were away vacationing in Arizona (in spite of a non-acquisition policy).  He is a very long thin cat with a long white tipped tail and he is spotted on his body like a Mau instead of striped like our other orange cats. He is very curious and will taste any food he can get his mouth on and seems to like an occasional stuffed green olives.  He has a some-what finicky stomach and has developed an extreme craving for shrimp (people type, not cat food). He and Pepper became buddies of sort and spent endless hours chasing each other around the house trying to set a new closed course land speed record for domestic cats.  However, he and Schmitty are still sorting out their pecking order vying for C-in-C (Cat in Charge) status. He is deathly afraid of Beth for some reason and she takes advantage of that fact.  He has lately become very protective of Fr. Frog and follows him everywhere like a shadow, and makes a kind of "chirping" meow when he feel he is not being paid attention to. One of his traits is to give "nose kisses" to those he favors. He has many of the mannerisms of our old cat Snickerdooddle which is some times very spooky and since Butter died he likes to have his tummy gently rubbed, something that would previously have resulted in the loss of your fingers.  Because he is long and thin he likes things warm and he will frequently crawl up under the bed spread of a made up bed to stay toasty.  He has a strong urge to get out of the house and will try and sneak out every chance he gets (not a good idea in coyote country).  To calm him down we started taking him for walks around our property on a leash!  Surprisingly, he took to the leash very well and will walk alongside you like a dog and sit when you stop.  When he wants to go for a walk he'll either pull his leash down off of the bench or hop up on the bench and yowl.  He misses Pepper very much and constantly looks for in all her old spots, cries when he can/t find her.

Ages referenced to September, 2008


Family Friends

Pumpkin

 Pumpkin is an orange, 6-year-old curious female Maine Coon cat, who resides with our "adopted" granddaughter and her mom.  She has a beautiful coat, but her claim to fame is a gorgeous long and fluffy tail that is almost as long as her body.  She is somewhat shy, but once she feels safe with you she will follow you around, talking to you and demanding attention, and supervising whatever you are doing.  She likes to hide under their couch but forgets that her tail sticks out and then gets annoyed when you "find" her.

 

 


We recently found this page from one our cat's daily planners. How do they manage such a hectic schedule?

5:45 Wake slave for breakfast

6:00 Reject "Seafood Supper" as not proper for breakfast. Find old pork chop behind couch. Eat for breakfast.

7:00 Rearrange self in grocery bag.

7:15 Watch birds at bird feeder; Develop plan to get them.

7:45 Snooze on pillow on slaves bed.

9:00 Chase tail

9:03 Nap on clean laundry in laundry basket.

10:00 Demolish arm of recliner.

10:05 Find plastic strip from milk bottle. Chase around kitchen until kitchen rug is piled in front of stove.

10:10 Find another pile of clean laundry; take another nap.

Noon Inspect and reject lunch

12:01 Find tasty house plant for lunch

12:05 Start bath

12:10 Interrupt bath for nap on stairs. Ignore anyone trying to go up stairs. Dream about ripping up paper bags and collecting sparklies

12:15 Resume nap

4:10 Wake up and remove all thumb tacks from bulletin board.

4:25 Make daily hair deposit on slaves favorite chair.

4:30 Insure birds are still at feeder. Attempt to get through window.

4:50 Scratch any remaining unfrayed rugs until suitably fluffy

5:00 Begin "cute" routine to insure favorite food is served; Stop at nothing to achieve goal

5:10 Inspect stove and counter tops to insure that all food is acceptable; Sample where necessary

5:25 Reject offer of roasted chicken

5:30 Stare at diners during their meal; Look as neglected, underfed, and cute as possible

5:35 Jump on table and steal biggest piece of chicken possible; retire to couch in den to enjoy

7:00 Assume position on top of TV with tail dangling in front of screen; Move tail as necessary to block important parts of picture

8:00 Demand evening snack; After being served ignore it and return to top of TV

9:00 Keep urgent appointment with invisible object in hall; Practice high speed racing turns until paw prints are visible on walls; Run over anything you can including humans

10:00 Report for nightly blanket weight and foot warming duties.


I think we're in big trouble. A friend found his cat's diary and sent me the following excerpts. I'd keep an eye on them if I were him.

DAY 750 - My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling
objects. They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while I am forced to eat dry
cereal. The only thing that keeps me going is the hope of escape, and
the mild satisfaction I get from ruining the occasional piece of
furniture. Tomorrow I may eat another houseplant.

DAY 761 - Today my attempt to kill my captors by weaving around their
feet while they were walking almost succeeded; must try this at the top
of the stairs. In an attempt to disgust and repulse these vile oppressors,
I once again induced myself to vomit on their favorite chair; must try
this on their bed.

DAY 762 - Slept all day so that I could annoy my captors with sleep
depriving, incessant pleas for food at ungodly hours of the night.

DAY 765-Decapitated a mouse and brought them the headless body, in
attempt to make them aware of what I am capable of, and to try to strike
fear into their hearts. They only cooed and condescended about what a
good little cat I was...hmmm...must try this with their baby....


Lest anyone think that cats are not literate I submit the following. This verse been seen titled, Hamlet's Cat's Soliloquy from HAMLET'S CAT...by William Shakespeare's Cat.

SOLILOQUY
by
William Shakespeare's Cat

To go outside, and there perchance to stay
Or to remain within: that is the question:
Whether 'tis better for a cat to suffer the cuffs and buffets of inclement weather
That Nature rains on those who roam abroad,
Or take a nap upon a scrap of carpet,
And so by dozing melt the solid hours
That clog the clock's bright gears with sullen time
And stall the dinner bell.
To sit, to stare outdoors, and by a stare to seem to state
A wish to venture forth without delay,
Then when the portal's opened up, to stand
As if transfixed by doubt.
To prowl; to sleep'
To choose not knowing when we may once more
Our readmittance gain.
Aye, there's the hairball;
For if a paw were shaped to turn a knob,
Or work a lock or slip a window-catch,
And going out and coming in were made
As simple as the breaking of a bowl,
That cat would bear the household's petty plagues,
The cook's well-practiced kicks, the butler's broom,
The infant's careless pokes, the tickled ears,
The trampled tail, and all the daily shocks
That fur is heir to when, of his own free will,
He might his exodus or entrance make
With a mere mitten?
Who would spaniels fear
Or strays trespassing from a neighbor's yard
But that the dread of our unheeded cries
And scratches at a barricaded door
No claw can open up, dispels our nerve
And makes us rather bear our humans' faults than run away to unguessed miseries?
Thus caution doth make house cats of us all;
And thus the bristling hair of resolution
Is softened up with the pale brush of thought,
And since our choices hinge on weighty things,
We pause upon the threshold of decision.


The End of the Raven
by Edgar Allan Poe's Cat
 from POETRY FOR CATS by Henry Beard

On a night quite unenchanting, when the rain was downward slanting, 
I awakened to the ranting of the man I catch mice for. 
Tipsy and a bit unshaven, in a tone I found quite craven, 
Poe was talking to a Raven perched above the chamber door. 
"Raven's very tasty," thought I, as I tiptoed o'er the floor,  "There is nothing I like more."

Soft upon the rug I treaded, calm and careful as I headed 
Toward his roost atop that dreaded bust of Pallas I deplore. 
While the bard and birdie chattered, I made sure that nothing clattered, or snapped, or fell, or shattered, as I crossed the corridor; 
For his house is crammed with trinkets, curios and weird decor-- 

Bric-a-brac and junk galore. Still the Raven never fluttered, standing stock-still as he uttered, 
In a voice that shrieked and sputtered, his two cents' worth-- Nevermore."
 
While this dirge the birdbrain kept up, oh, so silently I crept up, 
Then I crouched and quickly leapt up, pouncing on the feathered bore. 
Soon he was a heap of plumage, and a little blood and gore--  Only this and not much more.

"Oooo!" my pickled poet cried out, "Pussycat, it's time I dried out! 
Never sat I in my hideout talking to a bird before; 
How I've wallowed in self-pity, while my gallant, valiant kitty 
Put an end to that damned ditty"--then I heard him start to snore, 
Back atop the door I clambered, eyed that statue I abhor, 

Jumped--and smashed it on the floor.

 


Cat Facts


Cat Quotes

"Cats are very perceptive.  Don't trust anyone who doesn't like cats."

"Dogs have masters.  Cats have staff." -- A cat

"Do not meddle in the affairs of cats, for they are subtle and will piss on your computer." -- Bruce Graham

"There is no snooze button on a cat who wants breakfast." -- Unknown

"A home without a cat - and a well-fed, well-petted and properly revered cat -may be a perfect home, perhaps, but how can it prove title?" -- Mark Twain

"Thousands of years ago, cats were worshipped as gods. Cats have never  forgotten this." -- Anonymous

"Cats are smarter than dogs. You can't get eight cats to pull a sled through the snow." -- Jeff Valdez

"In a cat's eye, all things belong to cats." -- English proverb

"As every cat owner knows, nobody owns a cat." -- Ellen Perry Berkeley

"One cat just leads to another." -- Ernest Hemmingway

"Dogs come when they're called; cats take a message and get back to you later." -- Mary Bly

"Cats are rather delicate creatures and they are subject to a good many ailments, but I never heard of one who suffered from insomnia." -- Joseph Wood Krutch

"People that hate cats, will come back as mice in their next life." -- Faith Resnick

"A home without a cat - and a well-fed, well-petted and properly revered cat -may be a perfect home, perhaps, but how can it prove title?" - Mark Twain

"There are many intelligent species in the universe. They are all owned by cats." -- Anonymous

"I have studied many philosophers and many cats. The wisdom of cats is infinitely superior." -- Hippolyte Taine

"No heaven will not ever Heaven be; Unless my cats are there to welcome me." -- Unknown

"There are two means of refuge from the miseries of life music and cats." -- Albert Schweitzer

"The cat has too much spirit to have no heart." -- Ernest Menaul

"Dogs believe they are human. Cats believe they are God."

"Time spent with cats is never wasted." -- Colette

"Some people say that cats are sneaky, evil, and cruel. True, and they have many other fine qualities as well." -- Missy Dizick

"You will always be lucky if you know how to make friends with strange cats." -- Colonial American proverb

"Cats seem to go on the principle that it never does any harm to ask for what you want." -- Joseph Wood Krutch

"When I play with my cat, who knows whether she isn't amusing herself with me more than I am with her?" -- Michael de Montaigue


CAT
by; J.R.R. Tolkien

The fat cat on the mat
may seem to dream
of nice mice that suffice
for him, or cream;
but he free, maybe,
walks in thought
unbowed, proud, where loud
roared and fought
his kin, lean and slim,
or deep in den
in the East feasted on beasts
and tender men.

The giant lion with iron
claw in paw,
and huge ruthless tooth
in gory jaw;
the pard dark-starred,
fleet upon feet,
that oft soft from aloft
leaps on his meat
where woods loom in gloom---
far now they be,
fierce and free,
and tamed is he,
but fat cat on the mat
kept as a pet,
he does not forget.


Grendel's Dog A Fragment from /Beocat/
by the Old English Epic's Unknown Author's Cat

(Modern English verse translation by the Editor's Cat) from Henry Beard's /Poetry for Cats/

Brave Beocat, brood kit of Ecgthmeow,
Hearth-pet of Hrothgar, in whose high halls
He mauled without mercy many fat mice,
Night did not find napping nor snack-feasting.
The wary war-cat, whiskered paw-wielder,
Bearer of the burnished neck-belt, gold-braided collar-band,
Feller of fleas, fatal, too, to ticks,
The work of wonder-smiths, woven with witches' charms,
Sat on the throne-seat, his ears like sword-points
Upraised, sharp-tipped, listening for peril-sounds,
When he heard from the moor-hill howls of the hell-hound,
Gruesome hunger-grunts of Grendel's Great Dane,
Deadly doom-mutt, dread demon-dog.
Then boasted Beocat, noble battle-kitten,
Bane of barrow-bunnies, bold seeker of nest-booty,
"If hand of man unhasped the heavy hall-door
And freed me to frolic forth to fight the fang-bearing fiend,
I would lay the whelpling low with lethal claw-blows;
Fur would fly and the foe would taste death-food.
But resounding snooze-noise, stern slumber-thunder,
Nose-music of men snoring mead-hammered in the wine-hall,
Fills me with sorrow-feeling for Fate does not see fit
To send some fingered folk to lift the firm-fastened latch
That I might go grapple with the grim ghoul-pooch."
Thus spake the mouse-shredder, hunter of hall-pests,
Short-haired Hrodent-slayer, greatest of the pussy-Geats.


Relative Cat Ages
Cat Age Human Age   Cat Age Human Age
1 mo 5-6 mo 4 yr 32 yr
2 mo 9-10 mo 6 yr 40 yr
3 mo 2-3 yr 8 yr 48 yr
4 mo 5-6 yr 10 yr 56 yr
5 mo 8-9 yr 12 yr 64 yr
6 mo 10 yr 14 yr 72 yr
8 mo 13 yr 16 yr 80 yr
1 yr 15 yr 18 yr 88 yr
2 yr 24 yr 20 yr 96 yr

What's for dinner (11k jpg)

So what are you waiting for? Make our dinner!
(Snicker and Spice)


Please email comments to Fr. Frog by clicking here.


| Back to Fr. Frog's Home Page |


Updated 2008-08-30