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Another work in progress. This page is devoted to my musings on assorted topics as they come to me, that don't really fit in the "Ought To Be" page on this site

Here in Cottonwod, AZ people are generally very friendly and outgoing. However, with the influx of outsiders, particularly from California that seems to be changing a lot. Was at our favorite restaurant for breakfast with a bunch of men from my church. A couple, obviously not locals, comes in and starts to examine the menu. One of our guys says "Hi! Everything on the menu is very good." The woman looked at him and said, "Who the hell are you? I wasn't talking to you" To which my guy said, "Well maybe you'd be happier eating elsewhere." They did stay but gave the waitress a hard time over everything and left without leaving a tip. My guys all contributed to the missing tip.

This is a topic that has often puzzled me. Why is it that some folks can come through a horrific experience, and shake it off, while other folks come undone? While I understand the politically correct falling apart and expecting someone else to handle things for you, it is interesting who can handle life's issues and who cannot.

After a lot of though and discussion of this topic I think I may have hit on something. I've listed them in table format. While these might not apply to everyone they seem to hold pretty true, and all of these traits may not be necessary to make or break someone, but the more that are true the more likely the designated outcome

Traits contributing to being able to handle traumatic situations

Traits contributing to coming apart when confronted
with traumatic situations

Grew up learning that death and bad things happen in real life.

Has a good family and/or peer support system who either understand the situation or who can simply offer positive emotional and physical support.

Has some kind of spiritual upbringing and support.

Was raised with a concept of being strong and self reliant.

Is a social person. Mixes well with a variety of personalities.

Likes themselves.

Grew up in a sheltered environment and kept from learning about or experiencing death, hard times, and adversity.

Grew up without good parental and peer support and examples.

Grew up with a lack of consequences and responsibilities, and a victim mentality. (Someone else will handle difficult things.)

Not a very social person and avoids much social interaction. Limited circle of friends.

Constant exposure to rabid media propaganda pushing for a collapse of the person and trying to heap guilt or blame on anyone who seems to be coping, and the degradation of anyone who copes or who displays "manly" traits.

I lay this one in the laps of the parents. Something is very wrong when kids talk to their parents with profanity, refuse to take any responsibility for themselves, and are more worried about their status on Facebook than their grades and education. The parents of such kids almost always are more wrapped up in their own activities than in their kids, and the kids are left to themselves. The parents have' been indoctrinated into the "you can't discipline your child" and the "you can't make them do anything" mentality.

The "educational" system also contributes to this by codling the kids, teaching their "rights" and entitlements, rather than responsibilities, and usually down playing the parent's roles in favor of the "state." No one can "be better" than anyone else or excel because that makes other kids feel bad. Everyone has to be equal. Teaching to the test rather than teaching how to think critically and function contributes to the decline of our youth.

Every one of the young people I know that have excelled in spite of society, have all come from families with a work ethic, involved parents(s), and positive examples in their lives.

What is with these people who have to talk on their hand held cell phone all the time, even while driving. You'd think they were carrying the nuclear launch codes with them.

I have lost count of the number of times I have come close to being hit by an inattentive driver yakking on their phone, and have actually been backed into in a parking lot by a women talking on her phone, who then proceeded to run into another person. She was still talking on her phone when the police arrived.

What is so important that you risk your safety just to yak on the phone. Pull off the road and talk. You are not carrying the nuclear launch code.

Lots of localities have passed no texting/no handheld cell phone use while driving, but enforcement is very iffy, if enforced at all, and even the "hands free "hookups distract the driver.

When I was growing up my neighborhood was like a little family community. People were friendly, and helpful and talked with each other. Properties were decently maintained. Kids could go to any house on the street for help. Families invited others over for meal, and kids frequently stayed overnight at friend's homes. Today it seems that neighbors don't want anything to do with the folks next door, whine and complain about everyone else, and they usually don't bother to maintain their place. (But they are fast to complain about everyone else. No wonder communities are coming apart. The government "lock downs" made them happy because they limited contacts with others.

"Any similarities between these comments and persons, animals, or any combination there-of, living, dead, vegetative, unborn,
or from the galaxy G487, or a parallel dimension, is purely accidental. If anything resembles you don't bother writing me hate mail or calling your lawyer.
My lawyer is bigger than yours, his kid can beat up your kid, he shoots (very well), and we have some great places to hide bodies here in Arizona.